Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
