yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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