just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
