WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
