Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
