yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
