Me too!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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