WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Houston, we have a blender
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize