areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
