Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I faked an abortion last night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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