so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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