My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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