I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
