Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
