You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
