I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
