Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
