walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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