I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A+ Viking dick
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize