i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
