I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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