the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we're making bets on your personal life
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
