Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
