Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
