wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
