Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
