Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
