Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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