It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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