I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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