Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
