I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
nutella sex= disaster
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize