the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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