Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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