I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
