I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
