brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
