is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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