it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
