this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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