Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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