but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize