She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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