Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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