I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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