'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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