there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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