my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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