i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
