On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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