this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And then he peed in my hair
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