We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
