around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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