pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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