Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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