You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
