i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
