I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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