the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
