Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
