i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
