Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize